I think we hurt because of what we expect out of life, people and things.
If we expect a dress to last until, say, we pass it down to our daughter and it doesn't we hurt.
If we expect that we'd be our own bosses, or making six figures before the age of 30 and we don't we hurt.
If we expect that we'd be snuggled with our forever-ever-after in our own home with 2.5 kids, a dog and a picket fence at age 25 and this doesn't happen, we hurt.
I think that most things that hurt us do so because of what we expect out of them and I'm also aware that it seems we need to expect some teensy bit out of life in order to live a certain way, but I try not to expect too much of people and things because firstly, who am I to expect that life, people and things would go the way I want them to go.
I'm learning to change my vocabulary from "I expect" to "I hope"
For instance, after last night's rainfall, I hoped it wouldn't rain today and thought it a good opportunity to wear this light.
breezy red shirt instead of black, you know, just to brighten the day.